While I’m not big on New Year resolutions; it is a good time to reflect and think about the year that was. When I began this blog last April, I didn’t know what it would be about. I have a lot of varied interests, most of which don’t overlap, so hard to build a blog around them. As the CEO of a multi-million dollar company, I have an interesting work life, but it is also chaotic and stressful. I wanted a blog separate from all that turmoil, concentrated on more positive features. While I like to travel, outside an outstanding trip to Spain, I curtailed my normal travel schedule to deal with issues anchoring me close to home. And hovering over all those elements of my life was a persistent and pervasive fog of depression and anxiety which dominated much of my year.
But as I reflect on 2017, I found something I didn’t even know I had lost. I discovered the real me again.
OK, I know that sounds goofy. I’ve been waking up to the same face in the mirror for 50 plus years, next to the same woman for 20, and going to the same job for 11 years. There were no dramatic changes in my life in 2017. But therein lies the trap: monotony breeds malaise. I wasn’t striving to improve any aspects of my life, and the telltale fraying of neglect was showing.
So in the last 9 months, I changed my routine. I focused on getting up early, exercising, meditating and eating better. I gave up Facebook, watching TV and mindlessly surfing the internet. And I used that reclaimed time to read, regaining the vociferous reading habits of my youth when I could read 2-3 books a week. My most important new task for the year: I wrote blog posts on this site.
Writing is a new venture for me; something I possessed neither skill nor previous interest. So while it is still a work in process, I’m surprised I have continued to stick with it for this length of time. There is something about writing that resonates with me. I think it is because it is hard and I have no natural ability in it. It is also one of the few things in life that no matter how good you are at it, there is still room for improvement. Writing is the Mount Everest of interests; it looms over you, daring you to conquer it, all the while secretly plotting your demise.
So while work has consumed most of my time for the opening weeks of the new year, it is time to pick up my ice axe and rope to start my climb towards the summit. And when my wife asks me why I drive myself to despair in trying to get words to flow from my pen to paper, I can answer, “Because it is there.”