I haven’t written anything in a while, the “muse” just hasn’t been there. I recognize that is exactly the wrong way to write consistently. Best practice is to sit down with a pen and paper every day, the muse be damned! But for me, this endeavor is not a passion, or a livelihood, or really even a hobby right now. It is an experiment.
Does that rationale stifle my dedication? Hmmm, probably; but it doesn’t destroy it. I’m lucky to able to write at the frequency and speed I choose; or even not at all. There are a lot of writers out there that don’t have that luxury.
To be honest, I WISH my writing was more of a passion for me. That is what separates me from real writers. But that’s OK. At this point, I’m content to just write for me right now. For my purposes and my edification. What IS important to me is that I improve over time. My goals here are very pragmatic; I simply want to get better at writing. If I remain a writing “hack” the rest of my life, I suppose I can live with that. but I would rather be a hack writer than not be a writer at all.
Eventually, I would like to be good at it. Writing defines the type of creativity I’ve always longed for and never achieved. When I was young I did possess some small measure of creativity. When I was in school I could draw a little bit; I was a terrible actor but I enjoyed it. I had a good imagination and could weave stories together with little effort. But creativity was not important to me and I took whatever level I had for granted. Over the years I never tried to “exercise” it, and it disappeared from my life under the weight of work, mortgages and the daily grind. Now that it is gone I find I miss it so…
So THAT is the hole I’m trying to fill here. This experiment should really be classified as biology. Can I resurrect a spark of creative life that died decades ago?
Only time will tell if that will happen.